Question 1

Would you rather fight to the death with:
1. A bull

2. 45 cats and a kitten

3. Bruce Lee Zombie

note: no weapons allowed, you would have to beat on the bull with your fists and kick it in the legs or something. Think about it. Outline your strategy.

Jacqueline Everlasting writes...

Erm... *thinks really hard* A bull would no doubt kick my ass, coz even if It was in an arena and I could run about and make evasive manoeuvres, i think I'd still get tired before it would, and then I'd get gored to death, which looks pretty painful. I guess i could kick it in its big throbbing nut sack, but i dont know if that would make a lot of difference when ive got its horns embedded in my thoracic cavity.
cats are fuckers – I HATE CATS! so fighting a bunch of them would bring me a kind of sadistic pleasure, especially if they were just ordinary cats, not double hard bastard feral cats from some council estate in Smethwick. I would probably take a few scratches and bites, but theyre just flesh wounds- i could use my opposable thumbs to some advantage in popping their scruffy lil necks! but i'd leave the kitten alive so it could mourn the dead and pass on the memory of their glorious demise in battle to future generations.
dont much fancy the bruce lee zombie – can zombies be killed? i dunno, i never watch Buffy so i cant be sure.

Aaron of the South writes...
I think 45 cats would be easiest, unless they are great cats like a tiger or panther. Booting and stomping would be the order of the day. I'd be interested to see Bruce Lee Zombie fight, hopefully he'll be decrepit enough that he'll have lost his martial prowess and i can boot of a zombie leg or two and then stomp the head to goo.

Glyn with Skill writes...
Tag team, me and Brucy against said minions of hell (can't stand cats).
The red spray and onslaught of punted cats would surely throw the Bull off long enough for me and Brucey to flank it and crush its head between simultaneous side kicks o' doom. Plus I'd love to see a Bull one inch punched across the arena!

Queen Alexandra writes...

Bruce definitely. Just because I can and I will and he looks really good in a tuxedo and he is really thick so I could drop things from great heights such as acme anvils.

Mike the Beast writes...

I could beat the cats, providing they weren't lions and tigers and stuff. And if they were, and there were 45 of them, then they'd probably eat me pretty quickly anyway so that would be fine.

Big Throbbing Tim writes...

Cats all the way. The phrase 'enough room to swing a cat' neatly describes my strategy. Catching the first one i could, possible one in each hand, I could spin them to create an impentrable bludgeoning shield of feline death. Throwing them at other cats could take out large portions of the attacking force.

Right Wing Hater of All writes...

Well, for a start I would fucking deport that zombie. Cats are wretched creatures belonging to poor folk who genuinely believe cats can fill the gap in their meaningless life when in reality the cat is nothing more that a blood sucking parasite manipulating the pathetic kindly humans into giving it food and warmth. The Bull is a proud powerful beast and worthy of my combat skills. It would be easier if I had some cold steel to thrust into the monster, but if fisticuffs is the show then so be it.

Will of the North writes (please imagine northern accent)...

Bruce Lee Zombie, far more cool, plus the possibilty of winning if I pull off his arm and beat him to death with it Beowulf style.

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